These are the things you can expect after your surgery, these are the things that no one told me. These are the things I wish I knew going in….

1. You will sleep…a lot. The medications, the stress of surgery, the surgery itself…all of it will wear you out. Rest. Don’t try to do too much. After my surgery, it was all I could do to go pee and get back in my bed. That’s normal. When I got home, I still took several naps a day for a couple months. That’s normal. Your brain is expending a ton of energy on just recovering its main functions. Let it do its thing. You will not be ready to run a marathon for at least another couple months.

2. Trust the doctors. This is what they do for hours and hours every. single. day. If you don’t trust your surgeon, the guy that’s going to be fishing around inside your head, find a new one. Trust and like are not the same. You do not have to like your surgeon as a person, but you have to know, without a doubt, you can trust him. You are literally putting your life in his hands.

3. Bring something that smells like home. Whether it be a pillow, or blanket, or lotion. Bring something that reminds you of home. Hospitals have a funny, sterile smell. You want something to remind you that you have a life outside of that place. A life to look forward to.

4. You may throw up from the anesthesia. Why did no one tell me this? I should have known. I threw up after my hysterectomy, but, for some reason, I didn’t think I would throw up after my brain surgery. I always thought that throwing up after brain surgery was bad-bad-bad…but the nurses all acted like it was normal. And it was gross, let me just tell you, it was just nasty, dark red, blackish snot. It was gross. And you won’t just throw up once and be done. I think I threw up for an entire day.

5. Nurses are your best friends. Talk to them. They are happy to make you more comfortable. If you want them to rub your back, or wash you up, or shave your head, ask them. And if, by chance, there is a nurse that you don’t click with, you are allowed to ask for a different one. In six weeks, at two different hospitals, I had one nurse who I didn’t care for. It happens.

6. After surgery, your thoughts will be scattered. This surprised me. Three weeks after surgery, during one of my first sessions of therapy, I was given a word search…it took me forever to find less than ten words. I stared and stared at the paper, and got very frustrated with myself but I just couldn’t think straight and finally gave up after about an hour. This gets better. I promise.

7. Recovery is a very slow process. You will get discouraged with yourself. You will want to do things for yourself. Slow down. Accept that this is phase, a very long, hard phase. You will see small improvements every day. Celebrate those little victories. They all add up.

8. Ask for help. During your recovery, take advantage of any and all help offered and then ask for more. Don’t be afraid. This is the time you need to take care of yourself. You need to put you first. Take it from me, that’s hard. I know. I have five kids…I am used to being a supermom. It’s been 7 months for me and I can’t do supermom anymore.

9. Take pictures. I know, you think you don’t look your best. You don’t want anyone to see you in this state. Even if you never share them, take them now so you can look back at your progress. I regret not taking more pictures. It didn’t even occur to me, while I was in the hospital to take pictures. One day, as I was on the brain tumor page, someone asked for a picture in the ICU and I realized I didn’t have any. Take pictures. You will want them one day. Maybe not now, but one day.

10. Your life will never be the same. Some people call it the “new normal”. I personally hate this phrase but call it whatever you want, your life after surgery will not be the same as your life before. It will eventually look similar…you may have some small limitations, a bit of hearing loss, or tinnitus, or a slight pull on your incision site here and there that you realize months and years down the road. But regardless of any physical limitations you may or may not have, you will always have the memories, you will always know deep in your heart that you went through this life-altering process, you survived and you came out a stronger person. Congratulations! You are now a brain surgery survivor! Welcome to this exclusive club, we have jackets…and cool scars!

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